Monday, February 15, 2010

How Our Dinner turned into the St. Valentine's Day Massacre

1. There's still time to enter the Free Book Friday contest. It's open until... well... tomorrow. I'll announce the winner on Wednesday's post.

2. How was all y'all's Valentine's Day? 

Whoops. I meant:

Sam took me to the most romantic sports bar in the city, where the televisions outnumber the patrons, and the chips come in a big metal bucket, with the Corona insignia on the side. Step back, ladies... he's mine.

I couldn't help watching the televisions, seeing as how there were so many, and they were showing all these factoids about Canada. 

Turns out, that's all I could talk about.

me: "Can you believe Canada reaches into the Arctic Circle?"

Sam: "I never really thought about it. Or wanted to think about it."

me: "90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. So they're probably not too cold."

Sam: "Are you gonna talk about Canada the whole time?"

me: "No... But I just think it's weird that Kanata is the St. Lawrence-Iroquoian word for "village" or "settlement.""

Sam: "How's your mom doing?"

me: "I don't wanna talk about my mom."

Sam: "Well I don't wanna talk about Canada!"

It was very romantic. Sam got me a tiny little ring, in the hopes that I'd actually start wearing one. 
My hand looks huge...

When I opened the box, I exclaimed, "He went to Jared!" just for fun.

Everybody came up to Sam to congratulate him on his fine decision. The commercials were right: Men revered him, and women envied me.

Then the waitress came over and said, "But I thought every kiss begins with Kay!"

At that point, the entire restaurant split into Kay factions and Jared factions, and one side started singing, "When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day..."

And the other side painted their faces blue and shouted, "They may take our lives, but they will never take... our FREEDOM!"

They drew swords and brawled. Sam and I sneaked out the back door. I didn't bother telling everyone he really went to Fred Meyer to buy the ring. It just doesn't have the same ring.

added: here's the ring. I had to use the Super Macro lens. But that's nothing to be ashamed about.

It's thin and tiny, and it feels like I'm not wearing a ring at all. Which is the only way I like my rings, what with the fact that too often they choke my fingers.


  1. OMFG ROFL. You has a funny.

    That Valentine's Day was made of WIN. I didn't get much of one, the boy was way busy. Still, it means now he has to do MOAR to make up for it! *silver linings*

    But where is the actual RING? Must see shiny pretteh!


  2. There are few things more romantic than having to raise your voice to be heard above the sports on the tv.

    Also, we fit in nicely as I was dressed in a tux and you in your flowery prom dress. It made for a magical night.

    And Fred Meyer's jewelry is made of only the finest jewels. I am sure Jared and his family jewels are nice and all...but Fred Meyer knows how to bring the bling to his rings!

  3. Brittany- Here's for silver linings! I added a pic of the ring. Objects in picture are smaller than they appear.

    Cole- Thanks for reading!

    Sam- The wrist corsage you gave me really finished off our looks.

  4. Oh my gosh, Brodi. You're hilarious. I wish I could turn something so mundane into something so hilarious like you do. You're my hero and I aspire to be just like you.

    Your ring is really pretty. I like it a lot. He did well whether he went to Jared, Kay, Fred Meyer, or even a cracker jack box.

    My hubby and I spent Saturday together not really doing anything. But, it was still fun. We saw Sherlock Holmes, which I absolutely loved. We both got a new pair of shoes and we had yummy food at Coney's, which is WAY better than In-N-Out could ever hope to be.

  5. oh my sweetness he went to fred meyer... but wait isn't that now smith's market place ;)

  6. Why don't Kay and Jared just get together and do it already! Imagine the little darlings they could produce together. Now there's a love story.

    Cute ring, Brodi!

  7. That's a great ring. My wedding ring has the little stones inset like that too-- I LOVE IT! It's little and it's flat (no accidentally scratching the kids) and it's perfect.

  8. The ring is gorgeous! Simple. Nice. I think it actually sounds VERY romantic (way to go Sam). Especially the WWS finger-snapping, " Just play it cool...boy!"

    Why am I never around when entire restaurants break into song??! ;) Happy V-day!

  9. Jenni- I love Sherlock Holmes. Where is Coney's? I went to In-n-out in Vegas, and now I've been craving their animal burger, so I must know more about this Coneys.

    Shell- The big store is Smith's Marketplace, but the jewelry store inside is Fred Meyer Jewelers. That's probably more info than you ever wanted.

    Jody- Ha ha! "Why don't you two just do it already?"
    That would totally be a Romeo and Juliet story.

    Britt- I love little and flat. All jewelry should be that way. Less chance of me leaving it on a sink in a public restroom. (I did that once with my first ring).

    Cath- When the two sides met, the Jets taunted William Wallace by saying, "Looks like someone brought a battle axe to a dance off."

    Then they laughed derisively and pirouetted all in their faces.

  10. Coney's is on University Parkway in Provo/Orem. It's close to Barnes & Noble. They have awesome homemade custard too.

  11. That is a great Valentines day story. You deserve it! I went to the Desert Star Playhouse and saw Twi-lite. So romantic.

  12. Haha! Sounds like fun! My Valentine's Day involved cleaning up my 3 year old's vomit. Those kids of mine are always makin' sure Mama's feelin' the the love!

    I love your ring. Mine ends in a point and multiple people bear the scars from it.

    Oh and at my house it's true... every kiss begins with Kay(la)! So does that make me a Jet or do I need to go get a kilt?

  13. Jenni- Isn't there one closer to me?

    Cam- was it funny?

    Kayla- That sounds like a truly horrible V-day. As for the Kilt v Jet, I'd go for the kilts. Those Scots are much more fashionable.

  14. Surely Sam meant "flowery prom PANTS"! Everybody knows she wore pants to the prom. Pick up the pace Sam...

  15. Yeah, it was funny. I am usually opposed to cultural things like theater but once I am there I usually enjoy it. It was a prety good parody.

  16. Love the ring, Bro. And I especially love that I know that you probably really did yell out, "He went to Jarad" when you opened it.

  17. Hilarious, as always. Do you try, or does it just come naturally? :)

    The ring is beautiful! And for the record, I hate both the Jared and Kay commercials. If they got together, they could be Kared. Or Jay, but where's the fun in that?

  18. dude! sam did good, very very good. sadly however, i am w/you on rings and fingers. the only jewelry i love w/a passion is earrings. they are so NON claustraphobic (unlike necklaces and rings)

  19. Kent- Thanks for calling Sam out on that one. Makes me wonder if he even reads my blogs. Makes me wonder if he even knows me at all.

    Cam- I know. 'Culture' always sounds great, until you have to find babysitters and actually do it.

    Bree- I absolutely did. That was the only part of the story that was true. You know me so well!

    Kimberly- I try really really hard.

    Dorien- Rings and necklaces are like shackles and chains. Not to be melodramatic or anything.

  20. Thank you Kent for the front of everyone...sheesh, making me look like I don't even know my wife.

    But fwiw, it wasn't a prom dress (I was wrong) and it wasn't a pantsuit (you were wrong). It was a uni-tard. And it was AWESOME!!!!

  21. So hilarious. You have me convinced that every part of this story is true. Maybe I watch too many musicals. Beautiful ring.

    I only went to the Saturday session of LTUE and it was fun. Mostly I enjoyed visiting with friends, but Brandon Sanderson and his cronies recorded their podcast for all us to see and it was hilarious.

  22. I don't think there is one closer to you, unfortunately. It's not a franchise. It's owned by a local person. So, I recommend that the next time you're down here, you try it out. ;)

  23. PS - Their website ( says more locations are coming soon, though.

  24. Mary- that sounds like fun. Everything up to the part where I exclaimed, "He went to Jared" is true.

    Jenni- Ooooh. Sounds like I'll have to make the drive.

  25. I totally hear you on the ring thing! Small and non-catching on things is the only way to go.

  26. Ooh! I think it's BEAUTIFUL!! And I can't believe he went to jared either! (Probably because he didn't!) ;)

  27. Heids- Those pokey rings can be very dangerous. You can shoot your eye out.

    Thanks L.T.- When are they gonna have commercials where the girl is all, "He went to Jared?"

    Then her friend is all, "No! He went to the Grocery Store!"