Friday, January 6, 2012

The TOP TEN things my kid says to me to keep me grounded

The other day, I did a TOP TEN list on Twitter, and I got a couple requests to do it as a blog post, because of all the people not on the twitter. (I'm looking at you, Dorien). 

So, since I have a book coming out in 17 days (17 DAYS!!), sometimes my head is in the clouds. Below, I present to you the TOP TEN THINGS MY KID SAYS TO ME TO KEEP ME GROUNDED:

#10 "Percy Jackson already did mythology, and he's a BOY."

#9 "Please don't show your cover to my friends. It's embarrassing."

#8 Me: "I'm going to be in Wal-Mart!" Kid C (shrugging): "I'm in Wal-Mart at least once a week."

#7 "Mom, do you know any REAL authors? Because my teacher needs one to talk to her class."

#6 "Why did you have to write a book about... LOVE?" (Followed by melodramatic gagging sounds)

#5 "Wouldn't it be cool if Nikki ate Jack's BRAINS?! (Yes, he's into Zombies)

#4 (Looking at my cover): "That's a weird looking dude." me: "Um, that's a girl." Him (turning cover upside down): "Oh. I get it." me: "???"

#3 When a friend asked him what my book was about: "Um... Monsters. And dragons. And people who eat BRAINS!" There are none of these things. 

#2 (looking at finished copy) "What, they only made it out of paper?" Tosses it onto floor. me: "Yes, they cancelled the gold leaf printing." 

And the number one thing my kid says to keep me grounded: "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE R.L. STINE?" 

If you're a writer, what do your kids say to you? 

If you're not a writer... whatcha up to this weekend? 


  1. I already saw these on twitter, but I laughed just as much reading for a second time. Too funny!

    I have no big weekend plans, but right now, I'm watching Rafa! :)

  2. Kids are so great for keeping us humble. My son asked me the other day why my hair was black with gold on top. And here I thought I was still blonde with only a few highlights...

  3. Oh man. *dies laughing* I've always heard "don't look to your kids for your self esteem", and I think these comments prove that to be very true.

  4. I love this list. It's still funny the second time around. :)

  5. My kids are a little younger than yours. But they do ask me what I'm writing and when I try to explain they get all glassy eyed. Then they ask if I can help them write something about dragons, ninjas or zombies. ;0)

  6. Why can't we all be more like R.L. Stine?

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  8. Why did your book already are published in germany, but not at your home country?
    Or do I am wrong and it's already published? Because of the countdown..

  9. Leanna-- Rafa's on RIGHT NOW??!! *runs to check schedule*

    Candice- That's hilarious! I remember once my son said my hair had "black and white stripes".

    Ashley- They are so good to keep my ego in check.

    Jenni- ;)

    Jenny- I know, they get so bored when I try to explain the story to them. I keep thinking I need to work on my pitch!

    Jill- I ask myself that question every night before I go to bed.

    Skye- I believe the book comes out in Germany first. My U.S. publisher pushed my date back three weeks. :)

  10. LOL!!! thanks brodi! i think kyle follows your on twitter though! and here is one of the things MY GIRLS say to me to keep me grounded:

    You're dumb! You're the meanest mom EVER! & I hate you! (well, technically that is 3 things--but they're usually in one sentence!)

    want to trade kids???

  11. in fact, when kid G wants to make me feel particularly bad she will yell at me "AND WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE BRODI AND WRITE COOL BOOKS AND NOT WEAR THE SAME HAT EVERYDAY?"

    there you have it. scouts honor! :)

  12. My boys are convinced that if mommy sells her book, they'll be rich, so they're quite supportive. Wonder what lies I can tell them once my book actually sells and they have to face reality....

  13. Too funny. And too true that they don't get this. *sigh* Someday they'll be dating girls, though, who are crazy about your books. Then you'll be "real".

  14. LOL. Really. I didn't just type it cause it's cool.

  15. Oh, and I am know as Mikel Condie Curry.

  16. Aren't you lucky to have kids to help you not get a big head :) Too funny!

  17. I can't stop laughing! That is awesome!

  18. I'm a writer but as of yet, my little one hasn't said anything besides, "too bad you still gotta work on the weekend. That's no fun."

  19. Dorien- That makes me happy that I'm never going to have a teenage girl. :) But I love Gracie.

    Robin- You mean all authors aren't swimming in money? I'm going to have to reconsider this career...

    Donna- But by then, according to the prognosticators, the publishing industry will be dead. Kidding. :)

    Mikel- Hi Hi!!!

    Tasha- So lucky. I wake up every morning (well, the kids wake me up at 5:30) thinking how lucky can one person be.

    Keersten- You laugh, but this will be you someday too!

    Angela- haha! My kids think I love the laptop more than I love them. It's kinda sad. :)

  20. I loved this post ive seen this on tweeter and had me laughing out loud inside the coffee shop. People looked at me like Im insane. didnt care though it was freaking!


  21. Sooooo funny. Our children will definitely keep us grounded. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the laugh.

  22. I'm so glad you posted this because I totally missed it on twitter! ROFL! So great!

    My kids say, "Mom! Why do you have to use your computer to write? Don't you know about Starcraft 2?"

  23. So Liz and I are so excited about your book!

  24. first I thought it was what your kids said to keep THEM grounded. Kinda might work both ways for some of them though!
    - Jessica @ Book Sake

  25. I absolutely love kids this age. "I'm in wal mart at least once a week." haha awesome. Also, I love that your 6yo packed his Yoshis for the cruise. That's EXACTLY what my 6yo would have done, except it would have included every single Mario-related plushy we own (which is too many).