Thursday, August 9, 2012

How in one Encounter in an Airport, I Conquered my Fears

Hey y'all! Sorry I missed last week. I spent much of the week at the SCBWI conference in L.A. 
Photo taken by SCBWI Team Blog

For those of you who don't know, SCBWI is pronounced "Skehbwee."

Kidding. Do not go to this conference and be all "I'm so proud to be a member of Skehbwee." Trust me. I did that my first year, and I made no friends. 

SCBWI stands for Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. I know, I know, we can all think of a million easier acronyms. But... there you go. I've said it so many times now that Kid B's middle name is Esseebeedoubleyouwhy.

I don't even know why I'm talking about the conference, because the most exciting thing happened on the way home from L.A. 

To preface this story, you should know that I have a really hard time approaching people I admire. For instance, if I see an author in the hotel lobby, and I loved their book, I will turn in the opposite direction and run to Canada. Unless I'm in Canada. Then I will run to Peru. 

Some would say this inability to function would interfere with a publishing career. Sometimes it does. For instance, there was the time I saw my agent across the lobby, scanning the lobby for me, and instead of approaching him, I texted him. I thought this was an appropriate course of action, until a friend said, "Why are you hiding behind that pillar texting someone who is mere yards away from you?"

And that was my agent. (My agent, Michael, doesn't know this story. Welcome to my neuroses, Michael.)
This is Michael. Intimidating, isn't he?

So, now that you have been properly informed...

On Monday afternoon, I was at the LAX airport waiting for my flight home, when I noticed someone sitting across from me. I did a double take, and realized it was the most recent winner of the Bachelorette, Jef Holm. 

Emily and Jef, looking a little homely for my taste.
So I texted people. I was all, I'm sitting across the aisle from Jef from the Bachelorette

And people responded, Get a picture! 

So I got a picture! And here it is:

If you'll notice, I held my phone up from behind the book I was reading (which was an ARC of Lindsey Leavitt's GOING VINTAGE, which is so good that it took me a good twenty minutes to even notice Jef.)

I texted this picture to friends. And friends were all, No! You have to get a picture with him! You will regret it for life if you don't!

So, I thought to myself, This time, I will not be the coward who is taking pictures from behind a book! 

Before I could chicken out, I put my phone in camera mode, and shoved it into the belly of the girl sitting next to me, and commanded, "Take my picture! Take it with me, and that guy." (points at Jef)

Now, from her point of view, we had been sitting there in silence for half an hour, with Jef across from us, and then all of a sudden, I accost her and demand that she take my picture with some strange guy. Not only that, but she's from Australia, so she has NO CLUE who Jef is. 

But I sprang from my seat and said, "Follow me, beeyatch!" (Okay, I didn't add that last word.)

I walked up to Jef and said, "Can I have a picture with you?" Then, for good measure, I added, "My nieces will just die."

Now, this was a lie. I do have a lot of nieces, but I couldn't think of a single one who watched the Bachelorette. 

So... behold the picture proof of the giant leap forward for my cowardice:

This picture was the second attempt by my foreign friend. Here was her first:

I like to think that if Jef and I spontaneously decided to run away together, this is what it would look like. 
Wow. This was supposed to be a short blog, but I guess this moment was more significant than I thought. 

My friend, who is obsessed with Jef, called me immediately after I texted her the picture. She was all, "What was it like? How tall was he? What did he smell like? How did his waist feel?"

And I was standing in line right behind Jef trying to board the plane, speaking softly into my phone, describing how the person in front of me smelled like soap and lavender and his waist was not squishy. Please say that he couldn't hear me. Please.

What do you think, bloggerville? Do you know who Jef is? Even if you don't, are you impressed by my gumption? 


  1. I don't watch the show so I didn't know who he was when you tweeted about it. I had to look it up. This post was AWESOME.

  2. Holy crap... I am DYING of laughter... seriously sooooo funny... If you weren't a writer, I'd tell you to be one, because I was literally scanning this post as fast as my eyes could carry me. Too awesome!

  3. i know who jef is, but more importantly, yes, i'm highly impressed by your gumption. not only did you speak to a "celebrity" but you asked a foreign stranger to help you out! that's an impressive amount of moxie right there. :)

  4. Did you give him this speech?

    I think he would have been impressed.

  5. Ha ha! I love the end of this story. I don't think he could hear you at all! Also, did you ask him if he's happy with the bachelorette? Are they really getting married? Does he think it will last? Come on, Brodi! You're my inside scoop!

  6. Yay! You did it! I would have stopped at stalker pictures myself, I'm so proud of you. I also like how the line from the book is COMPLETELY SHIRTLESS, like Jef should have taken the hint.
    I wish I had dedicated the book to him so you would have more to talk about. Hindsight.

  7. I'm not just impressed by your gumption. I'm in awe of your new-found sidling abilities. And I think this was great practice for that time in the future when it will be Rafa that you see in an airport. Don't worry. IT WILL HAPPEN.

  8. You obviously haven't hung out with me at conferences enough (let's fix that, huh?)--I'm fearless when I want to meet someone. Or introduce someone (--that's how you met Donna, by the way--she wanted to be chicken). :) Congrats for such a great step forward. It's totally better this way. :D

  9. Oh my gosh. I'm SO impressed. I'm SUPER shy. I mean SUPER! It's bad. I'm trying to work on it, but it's not working.

    And yes, I know who Jef is. I only watched the last episode, but I immediately liked him! SO cool!

  10. I have no idea who he is but that is the coolest thing EVER! And I laughe outloud so many times while reading this post my husband finally had to be like, "what the heck are you reading? And read it to me so I can laugh." He, who also has no idea who Jef is died laughing too. So, thanks you brought a little joy to these cranky sick baby sleep deprived parents!

  11. I'm dying laughing right now and my family is looking at me as if I've lost my mind. :) This is just too funny. :)

  12. Sadly, I do not know who Jef is. In my family where the girls are outnumbered by boys, we only watch shows with "swamp," "catch," or "hunters" in the title. But I am impressed by your gumption. Such a great picture and story!